MAILBAG: Proactive Mentors: It Works In Eretz Yisroel And There’s No Reason It Can’t Work Here

Nov 28, 2024 | News, Yeshiva World

Menachem was once the pride of his yeshiva. A serious bochur and a child prodigy, everyone believed he was destined for greatness. But as time passed, his interests shifted. Slowly, he transitioned from the path of becoming a talmid chochom to settling into the life of a kovei itim baalebos. While the kehillah shook their heads at what they saw as wasted potential, they comforted themselves with the thought: “Baruch Hashem, at least his phone is filtered.” Chaim’s story is heartbreakingly different. Raised in a single-parent, low-income home, his challenges were apparent to all. His expulsion from one yeshiva after another barely raised an eyebrow. But when Chaim began wearing an earring and displaying a tattoo, the askanim who had tried to intervene felt defeated. The kehillah mourned a seemingly lost opportunity and asked themselves whether they had failed him. Yanky was from a respectable family, and though no one expected him to become the next rosh yeshiva, his path seemed secure. That’s why his decision to leave yeshiva and enter the workforce shocked everyone. His sudden announcement sparked questions throughout the kehillah: “Could we have done something to prevent this?” And then there’s Shloime. A bochur with a stable home and a supportive family, his future looked bright. But in Shiur Beis, whispers emerged about drug use. Eventually, his expulsion confirmed the rumors, leaving the kehillah shaken. Though askanim worked tirelessly to step in, the damage was done. People asked, “How did this happen under our noses?” These stories are not isolated. Each reflects a quiet tragedy that plays out too often in our kehillos—a bochur with potential slipping through the cracks. These boys were not bad, and they were not hopeless. They simply lacked the right support, guidance, and timely intervention. The question we must ask is: what if someone had been there for them before things unraveled? In Eretz Yisroel, a remarkable initiative has been developed under the guidance of the Gedolim—a system of independent youth groups or clubs established by kehillos. Select members of the kehillah proactively create a connection with bochurim starting before bar mitzvah, a time when trust is easiest to build. These relationships continue through yeshiva years, ensuring that warning signs are noticed early and the right support is available when it’s needed most. The results have been astounding. The program’s success has left me wondering: why haven’t similar initiatives been established in Chutz La’aretz? Our kehillos here face the same challenges, and the need is no less urgent. To any kehillah ready to take action, I would be more than happy to assist in setting up a similar program. Together, we can ensure that no more bochurim slip through the cracks. The solution is within our reach. It’s time to act. Rabbi Shlomo Dovid Hepner 0583236923 a0583236923@gmail.com The views expressed in this letter do not necessarily reflect those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.   | Read More The Yeshiva World 

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