[[{“value”:”

The Jewish holidays are in full swing. They are a time of joy, family, and community. For many of us, that joy includes raising a glass of wine at Kiddush, a l’chaim at the table or with friends, or even a “Kiddush Club” in shul.

Alcohol has become such a familiar part of Jewish life that we often don’t stop to question it. But at this time of the year, maybe we should, especially when it comes to our kids.

A recent study in the American Journal of Psychiatry (May 2024) examined predictors of early substance use, which include trying alcohol, tobacco, or marijuana by age twelve. The findings are clear: Early exposure to intoxicants raises the risk for later substance use disorders and other mental health struggles.

One striking result is that Jewish teens were more likely than peers from other groups to begin drinking early, especially compared to Mormon and Muslim youth, whose religious traditions strongly prohibit the use of alcohol. In other words, our cultural comfort with alcohol has a measurable impact on our kids.

This isn’t just theory. Research from SAR’s Machon Siach backs it up:

• Jewish teens reported drinking at nearly double the national average over a 30-day period;
• Rates of binge drinking were also higher than the national norm;
• Teens who saw adults drink or use substances were significantly more likely to drink themselves.

Our practices, whether wine at Kiddush or l’chaims at a simcha, may feel like tradition and celebration to us, but for kids, they are powerful lessons about what adulthood and joy look like.

It’s not all bad news. The same research highlighted protective strengths in the Jewish community, such as strong family ties, deep school connections, meaningful communal engagement, and a powerful sense of Jewish identity. These are tremendous buffers against risk. They remind us that we don’t need alcohol to provide belonging or joy; we already have strong tools for that.

{The Myth of “Safe Supervision”

Many parents believe that allowing kids to drink “under our watch” will teach them moderation. It feels like harm reduction. But research shows the opposite: kids who are introduced to alcohol at home are more, not less, likely to binge drink later on.

And it isn’t only parents. Sometimes kids are offered alcohol when they visit a rebbe over the holidays, or when they’re at a neighbor’s Shabbat table. These offers are often made with warmth, a sense of closeness, or as part of tradition, but the consequences are serious. Even small amounts of alcohol, even when offered in a religious or communal setting, increase the risk of heavier drinking later in life.

It’s not about whether a sip happens at 13 or 16, it’s the fact of early exposure that matters. Offering alcohol to children “just a little” at home, at someone else’s table, or in the presence of a respected teacher is no more protective than handing them the car keys before they’re ready. Adults—whether parents, hosts, or educators—have enormous influence, and choosing not to offer alcohol to kids is one of the simplest, and most powerful ways we can protect them.

The adolescent brain is still developing until the mid-20s, particularly in the areas that govern judgment, impulse control, and planning. Alcohol interrupts this process. The risks include:

• Addiction: earlier drinking leads to a higher risk of alcohol use disorder;
• Mental health concerns: early alcohol use is linked with anxiety and depression;
• Risky behavior: impaired judgment raises the chances of accidents and unsafe choices.

What feels like a harmless l’chaim at the holiday table can quietly shape patterns that echo into adulthood with serious impacts and consequences.

None of this means adults can’t make Kiddush or enjoy a glass of wine. It does mean we need to be mindful of the culture we create around alcohol. We can ask ourselves:

Do we want alcohol to be what makes a simcha feel joyful?

What messages do our kids absorb when they see us toasting l’chaim again and again?

How can we highlight the parts of Judaism, community, customs, togetherness, and belonging that already bring joy without needing alcohol to amplify them?

As a community, we have incredible strengths to lean on: family connection, meaningful rituals, and deep identity. Let’s use those to build a culture where our kids know that joy and belonging don’t come from what’s in the glass.

This holiday season, may our celebrations be full of warmth, spirituality, and connection. And may the memories we create for our children inspire togetherness without the drinking. n

Rachel Tuchman, LMHC, is a licensed therapist in private practice. She not only treats a variety of mental-health concerns, but also shares psychoeducation via her social media platform, public speaking, and online courses. You can learn more about Rachel’s work at RachelTuchman.com and follow her on Instagram @rachel_tuchman_lmhc.

“}]]|Read More    5 Towns Jewish Times