Summit Decision Rebrands Jordan, Inviting Palestine Refugees Home, Embracing Palestinian Majority, Welcoming All

In a move that has left the international community both stunned and intrigued, President Joe Biden and King Hussein have announced a dramatic redefinition of geopolitical norms by rebranding Jordan as “New Palestine,” effectively acknowledging the country’s demographic and historical identity as home to 70-80% Palestinian population and comprising 78% of the original Palestine Mandate territory.

During the landmark summit, the leaders not only celebrated this rebranding but also declared the opening of New Palestine’s borders for settlement, mirroring the welcoming stance of the United States towards its southern border. “It’s time to recognize the reality that Jordan, or New Palestine, is fundamentally Palestinian, both by the numbers and by the spirit,” King Hussein remarked, referencing the significant Palestinian majority within his nation and its historical mandate boundaries.

President Biden, echoing King Hussein’s sentiments, highlighted the move as a “historic reconciliation” and a step towards “righting the records of history.” He praised the initiative as a testament to the leaders’ “audacity of hope” and their commitment to fostering an era of unprecedented prosperity through open trade and cultural exchange.

The announcement also served as a poignant reflection on the turbulent history of Black September, with both leaders expressing a fervent desire to heal the wounds of the past. “By welcoming back those who were displaced, alongside their descendants, we’re not just opening our borders; we’re opening our hearts,” King Hussein stated, alluding to the era when Jordan faced internal conflict and the expulsion of militants. “This is our way of saying, ‘Welcome home.'”

In his remarks, Biden lauded the vision of New Palestine as a “beacon of hope and unity,” confidently predicting that the good intentions of all involved would pave the way for a thriving future. The leaders’ joint statement emphasized the strategic importance of embracing the demographic realities and historical ties of the region to forge a path towards peace and mutual prosperity.

This bold geopolitical shift is not without its critics, who caution against oversimplification of complex historical and present-day issues. However, the decision to acknowledge Jordan’s Palestinian identity and its significant portion of the original Palestine Mandate has been hailed by many as a long-overdue acknowledgment of historical facts.

As New Palestine prepares to open its borders, the world watches with bated breath, hopeful this audacious plan might indeed lead to an era of peace, prosperity, and unity in a region long marred by conflict and division. A forthcoming global summit, aimed at garnering support for New Palestine, is eagerly anticipated as a crucial next step in realizing this visionary project’s full potential.

Israeli officials, taken aback by the unexpected announcement, said they would wait and see.

American officials are currently in pursuit of President Joe Biden, who was last seen wandering around and eventually off.

The What House called a lid.

Um. This is a Parody.