by Roov Koret

As the world goes mad around issues involving the Jewish State, and with anti-Semitic incidents raging on campus and in capitals worldwide, no wonder Jews are feeling a bit jumpy these days.

But guys: you gotta lighten up, and not cry “Wolf!” when the topic is really just an innocent red heifer.

Suddenly, in Philly, ‘Missing Cow’ posters moo-ved into the spotlight. Bovine-themed posters went up, and Jews were outraged, believing that a lighthearted search for lost cattle masked something unkosher if not downright sinister.

The ‘Missing Cow’ posters, with a red and white design, perhaps resembled in some dubious way the posters of Israeli hostages which created such controversy. The lost cow creators, to promote veganism or perhaps to opposite it with raw meat, didn’t know what bullcrap were stepping into.

So the posters were red. They wanted them read. Not anti-Semitic. Heck, we’re looking for a red heifer so that we can bring the Messiah already.

Would Jews prefer the color purple? Alice Walker isn’t exactly a fan. And have you ever seen a Purple Cow?

Poring over the posters scrupulously, like a page of Talmud, there is nothing that appears to poke fun at Jews. Bossie seems a perfectly kosher cud-chewing, cleft-hoofed cow, not some treif hog! It’s not like they are promoting Hamas-and-cheeseburgers. They were hunting for a cow gone astray to promote a lunch to all their steakholders, for a dinner after all!

The posters were not a mockery, nor a trivialization of Jewish concerns. They were not entering our battlefield. This belonged in a separate dietary pasture, where moos and giggles are still allowed.

Maybe the authors were Jews after all. What could be more Jewish than promoting a nice brisket. They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s eat!

So listen up, fellow pro-Israel Jews, here’s some friendly advice from Jerusalem to your now not-so-safe spaces. As you stand with Israel, learn to make common cause with anyone who might have something in common, like looking for someone, or something, lost.

Recover what is lost, or stolen, and those who can help find and return them. If Israel can do it with Qataris and Egyptians, you Quakers can do it with Vegans or anti-Vegans or whatever they are. Until the cows — all the cows — come home! Now!

Levity and humor, it seems to me, should still have a place of honor among Levites. Let’s choose our battles wisely, distinguishing between a heartfelt cause and harmless cows. Who gives a cud?

Celebrate the fact that dozens of Israeli women and children, and even a few men, are at last coming home to their families. There’s a long road ahead to win the war with the Palestinians, Hezbollah, Houthis, Tooties and Frooties. Don’t get hot under the collar about cattle!

My two shekels of advice as an Israeli is to make peace with anyone who wants to make peace with you. That includes the creators of the ‘Missing Cow’ campaign. Sure, they may be a bit tone-deaf in their timing or their choice of hues. But being on time or matching colors is not really a thing for Jews, is it?

If you really want to support Israel, you know how? Learn some history, learn how to defend the world’s one and only Jewish country. Focus on what really matters now.

Don’t have a cow.